My friend saw on Animal Planet that Golden Retriever’s mouths are so soft they can carry eggs without breaking them, so she tested it.
Oh my fuck
My thighs are huge cuz they’re full of secrets
Wrap them around my ears and let me hear them all
You smooth motherfucker
no really i need to know
life hack: stay in bed
A wave viewed from underwater
i feel so whack judging lame people in relationships im so bitter that nerds can be happy
So just because someone doesn’t fit your definition of “cool” they’re not allowed to be in a happy, healthy relationship? Maybe that’s why you’re single.
im single because every sexual partner ive had has died from immense physical trauma due to my gigantic wiener. so maybe take a walk in my shoes before you judge…
if sharknado can be successful so can i